October Lookback

Listening to:
Boy Meets Girl – "Waiting For a Star to Fall"

I'm not going to lie. I think the song is absolutely beautiful despite being cheesily 80s. The idea of a guy falling for a girl and being patient while trying to earn her love? ❤️ But it also leaves me with the feeling that females can only be attractive if they are essentially always happy, always busy and fun, and always just out of reach. So the song also upsets me a great deal.

I need a male opinion. Is it possible for a guy and girl to stay friends if the girl isn't always this happy-go-lucky always making you feel good about yourself angel? Assuming, of course, you aren't dating her and you aren't married to her. And also assuming you aren't gay.

Females, do you have any amazing guy friends that have and will always be there for you? Anyone that has stood the test of time? Someone that always chooses to love and care for you even when you are less than happy and enthusiastic?

Perhaps this is an incredibly negative view to have on the world, but it's how I've been feeling lately. Like maybe I'm not good enough or happy enough … or, in general, enough.

Still, it brings a smile to my face when I think about one person patiently waiting for another.

"I don't like waiting…" (main singer)
"I'll wait for you." (background singer)
"It's so hard waiting…" (main singer)
"Don't be too long" (background singer)
"Seems like waiting … makes me love you … even more." (main singer)

I've also been listening to Mariah Carey's "Fantasy" on repeat. I like watching the Youtube video. It reminds me of the 90s, roller skating, and Venice Beach in California. (I don't know where it was filmed.)

Finally, Toad the Wet Sprocket's "All I Want" Ever been in a situation where you feel like there is a lot being communicated but nothing being said directly? And maybe you can't fill that void with words? That's what this song makes me think of. I'm not sure why it hits me at my core, but it does.


I was looking through old postcards and letters and read this letter where a guy friend was supposed to go on a date with this girl he didn't really like. He wanted to go because he wanted to see a movie, but he claimed the girl he was supposed to go out with was "selfish and jealous". How he knew this without having gone out with her, I don't know. Anyway, I really want to ask this friend how the date worked out and if he even went. He's married so that could cause complications if she's the same girl. And even more complications if she's not! 🤪

Reading through old letters and postcards has caused me to have more questions than answers. How is it possible to know someone so well and yet not at all?


Generic travel. Ireland? Scotland?

Also CHRISTMAS PRESENTS! I have this really cool idea for a friend. We finally began putting it together. There are a few more parts that need to be put together before it's finished, but I'm really excited about it. It's taken a lot of thought and planning.

Anxious about: my family.

I've been having a lot of problems with them recently. I'm worried about how everything will resolve itself. Recently I had to reach out to a friend to get a second opinion so I wouldn't go into a situation with too much anger, frustration, and general emotion. Luckily, she had my back and listened like a rockstar calling me out on the ways I was responding incorrectly to the situation, without judgment.

Interested to Know:

I met this guy online a week ago, when I was feeling lonely. Turns out he's training to be a therapist, so it was almost an ideal situation. I was hoping he could help me figure out why I was so blue. It turned into a fun conversation going back and forth. I learned a lot about the field of psychology and kept him on his toes questioning everything he thought he knew. 😉We've talked a few times since, but I'm really hoping we will remain in contact. It's nice having a new friend to talk to. 

Last month I was trying to become friends with my coworker. I am happy to report that things are going pretty well with that. My husband and I went out to dinner with her and we chatted for a good two hours, never running out of things to talk about. I am so grateful she was brought into my life and I hope I can continue to get to know her better.

One last thing – just signed up for French 2, but the school is going to fast track my husband and myself through French 2 and 3, so that we are on target to take French 4 for the 10 week period following the holidays. I'm excited to have more private French lessons, but I'm a little bit worried about getting through the next session. Will I be able to keep up? I've been struggling to get through French 1!

Keeping A Secret:

I'm working on a blog update. I'm having some struggles with the comment section though. Do I know anyone good with HTML?


We the Free Sunshine In the Rain Tee in pink and black

Etheline Peasant Midi Dress
• for Christmas presents (3 done, many to go)



I don't think I'm going to make this year's reading goal. I'm not terribly disappointed. I feel like I've had a really rough year. 

So, that is October in a lookback for me. It will be interesting to see where the next few months take me. I'm always so surprised at how my life changes throughout the year. Goals change. My emotional state changes. Things that were perfect all of a sudden are no longer quite as good. Other things end up being better than they used to be. It may be a little early yet to wonder what 2020 will bring, but that is exactly what I'm thinking.

I hope you all are having a beautiful and wonderful October. Accomplishing goals and becoming better versions of yourselves. ❤️

Monthly Financial Update: September 2019

In December, when reviewing my finances for 2018, I mentioned my desire to look at them on a monthly basis in 2019. Justin and I spent a little too much in 2018 and let our finances get the best of us. Maybe by looking at our finances monthly (and let you guys/gals keep me in check), we will do better this year.

That's the goal anyway.

Here's month #9:


green - this year, yellow - last year

Last Year:
• We spent more on food, shopping, gifts (Christmas gifts, nephew's birthday gift), and fees & charges (interest).
• We spent less on auto (tires, rims), travel (New Orleans), and bills.

dotted line = last month, green line = this month

In August:
• We spent more on food, bills (probably electricity), and fees (Capital One Venture yearly fee)
• We spent less on auto (tires, rims), travel (New Orleans), shopping (dresses), personal care (got a dress fixed, had clothing dry cleaned), and gifts (a few birthdays).

Where We Spent Our Money:

Top 10 Merchants:
1. Tire Rack (tires + rims)
2. The Pontchartrain Hotel (friends owe us)
3. Electricity
4. Kroger
5. Amazon (gift, shut off valve for water, Delsey carry-on)
6. Kroger (groceries, cards, wine, gift bag)
7. Seven Lamps (restaurant)
8. Anthropologie (dress)
9. USpray (bug spray for the house)
10. Trader Vic's (restaurant)

Top 10 Categories:
1. Auto & Transport (tires & rims, oil change, multiple car washes)
2. Food & Dining
3. Travel (We should be getting back half of what we spent.)
4. Shopping (dress, bug spray, shut off valve for water)
5. Bills & Utilities
6. Personal Care (got a dress fixed, dry cleaning)
7. Gifts & Donations (2 birthdays)
8. Financial

9. Fees & Charges (interest charge)

Gas & Fuel – under
Groceries – under
✗ Restaurants – over
Hair Appointments – under
✗ Everything Else – over

Net Income:


Student Loans

Credit Cards

How Did I Do On My Financial Goals for September?
Continue to reduce grocery spending. (We have lots of wine! We don't need anymore!)
✗ Start purchasing gifts for Christmas.
Go low-key when purchasing birthday gifts this month. 😳
✗ Aim to only spend around half (or, ideally, less) of our takehome pay.
Buy tires for my car.
✓- Look at the budget and make adjustments. (Some are needed!)
✗ Return dress to Free People, leggings and dress to Belk (if I'm not going to wear it).

* Loan Payoff Date 11/1/22
* Emergency Funds: $12,927
• 401K $44,958.17
• Credit Scores: 740 (Justin), 805, 808 (me)
Overview of the Biggest Impacts This Month:
1. Tires and rims.
2. Paying for a hotel. (Friends owe us for their half.)
3. Bug spray.
4. Birthdays.
5. Dry cleaning. Or rather, going through clothes and discovering some of my favorites have stains.

What went wrong this month?
1. I didn't make returns that I should have.

2. Discovering I have stains on clothes that even the dry cleaner can't get out. Replace clothes? Live with the stains? … Decisions need to be made.
3. We spent more on everything else (shopping, travel, birthdays, house upkeep, car upkeep).
4. Birthdays are (or can be) expensive. I think I did good considering, but there is always room for improvement.
5. We started drinking the wine we had, so we needed to replace some of it. Oops!

What went right this month?
1. We continued to spend less on groceries! Second month in a row!
2. I got price adjustments on two dresses!
3. We spent less on restaurants this month!
4. Our friends realized they owed us from a year ago, so they are working on paying us back. (We thought the money was gone.)
5. Getting my dress fixed. In the short run, it cost us, but in the long run, I will be able to wear it again.

Financial plans/goals for October?
1. Start purchasing Christmas gifts!
2. Put 1-3 items on Poshmark to sell.
3. Cut restaurant spending … by at least a little?
4. Nail down destination for summer 2020 and start looking for flights/pinning down hotels. Look at rental car prices if that is our chosen method of transportation.
5. Decide what, if anything, we are doing for Christmas break.

In October, my husband and I will be helping my parents with some financial issues they are facing. I'm not sure this is the best idea for our finances, but it's hard to see family struggling.

We also have plans with friends to travel to New Orleans.

French 101 ends and we have to consider whether or not we want to continue taking French 2. If we do continue, we will need to pay in advance for the next 10 weeks of classes.

Then there is a Christmas gift I have to have finished by the beginning of November…

And finally, we are working on travel plans with friends for summer 2020. Ideally, I will be able to start looking at flights in October, assuming everything goes to plan. Flights could be expensive depending on where we go. Cross your fingers for me that everything works out.

So what does this mean for next month?

It has the potential to be quite expensive. Or … maybe not? I don't know. Either way, it will be important for us to watch our finances and not let expenses get too out of hand.

I'm grateful for all of the opportunities I have: taking French, being able to help my parents, getting to travel with friends. However, I need to be aware that all of these things come at a cost – sometimes in time, sometimes in money, and sometimes both. I need to take full advantage of these circumstances and make the best of every moment I have.

Do you plan for expenses really far in advance – such as buying Christmas gifts or a flight for a vacation that won't take place until next year in October? How do you handle or break up your expenses so you aren't paying for everything at once? Do you have any financial goals set for October?

Financial Resolution Goals 2019