The Kiss

After watching The Bachelorette: Ashley and J.P.'s Wedding (Yes, I watched it. Yes, that makes me a sad, sad person. lol.) I was inspired to write a post about the importance of the kiss, the first one you make as husband and wife at the altar.

If you haven't discussed this with your future husband, you need to. Or maybe you don't. I'm not you or him... I'm not in your relationship, and I can't tell you what you need to do.

Justin and I had to have this discussion.

When we first started dating, Justin told me that he wanted to save his first kiss for his wife. This was kind of a big deal for me since he had dated others, but I had never dated anyone other than him.

Then later into our relationship (much later... as in 4 years later...), he changed his mind and decided to kiss me.

Can you imagine dating 4 years without kissing... and then kissing? I'm not sure many people can. The one positive I think that we really got from this period of waiting was that we had become superb friends. We had discussed everything... our relationship had been up and down... There were tears, there were smiles, funerals, weddings... graduations, family arguments, friend arguments, dinners, breakfasts, winters, summers, periods of work and periods of play... We had met one another's families...

I think what held us together is that Justin was very affectionate in other ways making me feel like an absolute princess. He held my hand nearly everywhere we went. He hugged me all of the time for no apparent reason. He kissed my forehead when I wasn't feeling good, kissed my hand just to be cute... He rubbed my feet after a day of walking in the mall... He put his arm around me when we were sitting out in the cold winter looking up at the stars...

(I say he was the affectionate one, because I am not. I don't like making people feel excluded or like they are a third wheel, so hand holding was out of the question when friends were around...  I'm weird, I know.)

So anyway, that first kiss at the altar was a HUGE deal for us. I wanted to skip over it. I had read online that others would just skip over that part during the mass and no one would be the wiser. Or maybe a kiss on the cheek? I wanted to save the first married kiss for in private. Justin did not.

We glossed over this discussion by not discussing it. I hoped I would get some bravery by the time the priest said those fateful (dreadful) words. I was prepared to kiss and be done with it so that my husband would be happy. Y'know, nothing crazy... just a peck on the lips.

By not discussing it, Justin and I were in completely different thought processes. During the "you may kiss the bride" part, he managed to turn me in such a way with his hand up to my cheek so that no one would see. lol. I was soooo mad at the time. I was thinking "You wanted a kiss, so we may as well get a good picture of it!" Now, looking back I can laugh and think that he was... protecting me in his own special way, if that makes any sense. He was loving me, thinking about me, considering my thoughts and feelings.

Unfortunately though, in the aftermath, we got to hear things from family members like "Why didn't you let him kiss you?!?" and so on and so forth. Turns out the priest and the singer were the only ones to see the actual kiss. lol. We also heard things like "We're practicing our kiss before we get married." lol.

My opinion on the matter? Think about it, talk about it, and plan it. If you want a special kiss picture at the altar, make sure you are on the same page with your significant other. If you are shy like me, at least talk to and consider what will happen when you are up in front of all of your family and friends rather than avoiding it and hoping it goes away. It won't.

I know most people are not like me... I know most people cannot wait for that moment when they get to kiss their significant other at the altar. I think that is wonderful.

As an aside, I do think it is funny that Justin once suggested that we practice kissing in public. After being married for nearly a year, that still hasn't happened. Maybe next year? ;)

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